Beatle John Lennon sang, “And so this is Christmas and what have we done? Another year over and a new one just begun.”
I have been searching my photo files for a good Christmas photo to use for this installment of defreshtalk but I have so many I finally gave up and decided to continue without posting a photo. All of the searching for that perfect photo did accomplish one thing though. It reminded me that a huge part of Christmas is the memories its’ celebration creates. Celebrating Christmas is about traditions, traditions that run deep in families.
I remember how fun and exciting everything was leading up to Christmas Day. That excitement was driven by memories of past Christmas’ and the things our family did every year as part of our celebration. Thanksgiving came and went and the first lighting of the Advent Wreath at church signaled it was time to get ready for Christmas. Church was a big part of our annual Christmas celebration. We were Lutherans but because my Dads best friend was an Episcopalian his church also played a part in our annual celebration – more on that later.
In those days public schools celebrated Christmas in a big way. There were orchestrated Christmas recitals and plays, the halls were decorated with Christmas stuff we made in class, they would even put up a Christmas tree in every classroom. The day before school let out for Christmas break there would be a school-wide Christmas party complete with homemade treats to eat, gifts for the teachers and singing of Christmas carols (yes, Christian carols). Of course we were also excited about getting the next week off from school – we always went back to school on the first weekday after New Years. Celebrating Christmas in school helped rev up the excitement of the season.
The days off from school were filled with time honored activities. My dad would give me and my sister a stipend for Christmas shopping out of which we had to buy gifts for him, my mother and in my case, my sister. There would be one day set aside with my mom for baking cookies, making fudge and a special concoction my sister loved named “Divinity.” There were also days designated for us to spend time baking and decorating cookies with each of our grandmothers. Decorating involved cookie cutters to form figures like Santa Claus, snowmen, angels, canes and sleighs. Once baked the cookies would then be painted with various colors of sugary frosting, multi-colored sprinkles, cinnamon balls and sometimes, little silver balls. I always wondered who the person was that came up with those silver balls because biting into one of them was like trying to bite through a miniature bowling ball. I suspect it might have been a Dentist because those things could break teeth! You could always tell which cookies had been decorated by my sister and which were mine. Hers could have gone into a bakery display case. Mine on the other hand were thick with that yummy frosting and showed a disregard for making the cookie look anything like the figure it was. By the end of the baking and decorating session the kitchens would look like a flour bomb had gone off and having done a lot of sampling of our work we would be on a sugar high that would last for days.
My Dad loved celebrating Christmas. From the day Christmas season ended, my father was already looking forward to the next one. So what were some of our families traditions? Dad’s birthday was on December 16 so that was the date the Christmas tree went up. Any time before that and the tree would dry out before New Years Day which was the traditional day for taking the tree down. The tree was always purchased at a pop up Christmas tree lot where Dad would look through the various trees until he found just the right one. He would then enter into the negotiation phase of the purchase, using all of his bargaining skills to get that last 25 cent concession from the lot owner – an expensive tree in those days was around $7.00. We would then tie the tree on top of his Plymouth station wagon and head home to show Mom what a great purchase we had made. And just like that our family Christmas had begun again. We would get out the boxes of lights and foil garland and when Dad had finally mastered getting the tree to stand upright in his old, wobbly Christmas tree stand, we would start decorating what would surely be our best ever Christmas tree. He would moan and groan about the number of light bulbs that had burned out since last year. He would have one too many Hot Buttered Rum drinks causing my Mom to get a little “displeased” with him. He would play the Al Martino Christmas album on his console stereo, taking a break from the decorating activities every 20 minutes or so to flip the record over to side two. And as a last act of bravado he would climb his old rickety wood ladder to place the tree topper star ornament on the very top branch sticking straight up toward the ceiling. Of course there were always a few challenges along the way such as that string of lights that worked fine before they were wrapped around the branches of the tree at which time they quit working completely. There was the year we left for Christmas Eve church service and returned home to find out the dog had decided to pull on some of the ornaments and had pulled the entire Christmas tree over – that old wobbly tree stand Dad wouldn’t give up on provided little resistance to a determined Poodle. And then there was the year Mom announced she kind of liked those new, modern aluminum trees with the rotating light that turned the tree different colors. Holy cow, I thought Dad was going to burst an artery but then he calmed down and simply said, “Now Virginia, those aren’t very traditional.” The whole thing was always a bit of an ordeal but the result was always a mesmerizing, twinkling, colorful masterpiece that would be plugged in early every morning and would remain plugged in until everyone had said goodnight.
My Dad also loved decorating the outside of our house. The only problem was a large part of the outside decorations involved something called “Luminarias.” Luminarias are a traditional southwest decoration and were said to be used to light the way for The Christ Child. You have probably seen modern Luminarias, rigid, upright plastic bags with a small light bulb in them that are used to line walkways. Well, the “real” Luminarias that were a huge part of outdoor decorations in an area like Albuquerque were a little more involved than simply setting out a set of light bulb lit decorations. Many times Luminarias became a neighborhood project with everyone in a several block area encouraged to set them out on Christmas Eve and Christmas night. There were vendors that would go door to door selling small paper bags, sand and the small flat candles that were needed to make the decorations. Some people would simply line their sidewalk and driveway with them while some would also line the concrete block walls that divided most of the house lots. Dad would usually order around 150 set ups and you know who got the job of putting the Luminarias together. It was a tedious job that involved rolling down the top of the paper bag, uniformly of course, filling the bag with just enough sand to keep it in place in case the wind blew – also making sure each bag had the same level of sand so the final touch, the candle, would line up with the one next to it. The bags were then placed along the sidewalk, driveway and the top of the wall, equidistant from each other. Finally, before leaving for Christmas Eve church service my job was to go from bag to bag, using a long candle, lighting the candles in each of the bags – keep in mind there were usually around 150 of them. It was a lot of work. Unless you have seen an entire neighborhood bathed in the golden light from these simple decorations you cannot understand how beautiful and spiritual the experience could be. The local newspapers would even publish stories reporting on specific neighborhoods that would have exceptional Luminaria displays and families would reserve some time, usually after church, to drive through those areas just like families today drive through well decorated neighborhoods.
Christmas Eve was also all about church, relatives and friends. We would go to the 5:00 church service because it was the candle light service and because we had a full evening ahead of us. The first stop after church would be my Paternal Grandparents house. My aunt and cousins would be there and maybe a couple other relatives depending on who decided to stop by. My Grandmother was a great cook and made all the traditional Christmas meal items, turkey, baked ham, candied yams, and always, oyster stew. She was also known for her Cinnamon rolls which were a highly anticipated treat, slathered in a delicious, creamy, sugary frosting. After the meal we would gather in their living room to unwrap presents. Around 8:30 it was on to the next traditional Christmas event – time at my parents best “couples friends”, Mary Evelyn and “Shockey.” I can still smell the piñon pine wood burning in Shockey’s fireplace, I can still hear the voice of Italian tenor Mario Lanza singing classical Christmas songs coming from the record player and I can still remember the aroma of Mary Evelyn’s stewed pork and pinto beans coming from her kitchen. My Dad and Shockey would park themselves in a couple of chairs, near the Christmas tree, with a straw wrapped bottle between them. That bottle contained their Christmas Eve beverage of choice, Bacardi Anejo rum. They would sip their rum, listen to classical Christmas music and then around 10:00 PM we would all gather around the dining room table for a bowl of those wonderful stewed pinto beans. Man, I can still taste them. That wasn’t the end of the evening though. Shockey was the Episcopalian I mentioned and the final Christmas Eve tradition was to get in the car and drive to the Episcopalian cathedral in downtown Albuquerque for midnight mass. So we started the evening with a traditional Lutheran Christmas Eve service and ended the evening with a traditional Episcopalian Christmas Eve mass. Wow, it was a long but fun evening.
Christmas morning came and we were up early to gather around the tree to see what great things were in those wrapped packages that had mysteriously appeared after we climbed into bed after the long Christmas Eve celebration. Sure, we knew what a few of the presents contained because we had each put some of them there, but there were always a few that weren’t there the last time I had checked. My dad played “Santa Claus” and handed out the presents to me and my sister. Traditional Christmas morning music usually involved a Christmas album from someone like Rosemary Clooney or one of my mothers favorite Italian tenors. The gift unwrapping frenzy was followed by a breakfast of leftovers from the night before – grandma’s cinnamon rolls, oyster stew and possibly another bowl of Mary Evelyn’s beans and always there were always scrambled eggs with “Pace Picante” salsa lathered all over them. We were then off to the 11:00 AM Christmas church service followed by a short drive to my other grandparents house. My Mother’s parents were Swedish so there were always a few traditional Swedish foods involved in the Christmas dinner grandma would prepare. Potato sausage was one or those items and I can still taste it. She would also prepare a turkey or a goose along with all the “trimmins.” Desert was something called “mincemeat pie.” Mincemeat pie was actually a traditional English Christmas food but I guess the Swedes must have adopted it too because it was a tradition at Grandma Sellberg’s house. I remember it had a chewy, almost raisin like texture and I don’t think I liked it very much. This was the final meal of Christmas for us and by the time it was over everyone in our family was ready to go home and collapse into bed. What made our Christmas? Following traditions – traditions built on previous traditions, traditions that created memories.
After relocating to Lakewood, Colorado in 1968 it was time to start new Christmas traditions. Those traditions still involved attending a candle light Christmas Eve church service. It also included an annual Christmas party hosted by my father at our house.
The traditional Christmas meal changed a little but still included Dads favorite, oyster stew. Along with the stew we had tamales, green chile, refried beans and pizza. A true international smorgasbord! He had started a new tradition. A tradition that will create memories for Brandon and Tyler, the same type memories I have of our family Christmas celebrations.
I find it interesting that I have trouble remembering the names of the three guys I played golf with yesterday but I can remember small details emanating from family Christmas traditions from 60 years ago. Traditions create memories, memories like the ones I have had fun rediscovering as I write this blog entry, memories that bind us together as a family. Traditions are generational and each generation should put their own spin on family traditions. I am not saying you should completely ignore old family traditions. Old traditions are important pieces or your unique family history. Honoring long held family traditions is important and speaks about your life and the role family played in it. When Terrie and I got married we blended the way her family celebrated Christmas with the traditions of my family and then began to build or own traditions. Our Christmas tree evolved into an artificial one but we continued to put it up around the time of my dads birthday. We still went to the candle light Christmas Eve church service, Brandon insisted on it. Just like my dad did, we went to my parents on Christmas Eve and yes, the meal was oyster stew, tamales, green chile, beans, pizza and thanks to my sister, Posole. On Christmas Day we hosted Terries family but no, the meal was not Goose, potato sausage and if Terrie could help it – Turkey. Actually, I can’t remember a lot of those meals because, hmm, they weren’t traditional. We still gathered around the tree early on Christmas morning to open the beautifully wrapped gifts from the pile that had grown over the previous days. Now Brandon and Tyler are married and have started creating their own family traditions. It is fun for Terrie and I to watch and it is gratifying to see them blend older traditions from each side of their families into their own versions.
I have one final comment on how you handle Christmas traditions. Above all, those traditions must include one common, critical element. That element is what Christmas has always been all about. That element is the birth of the most important man in human history, Jesus. If your past Christmas celebrations have not included Him, I respectfully ask you to consider what you are really celebrating. I also urge you to give him a chance this year, a chance to fill your soul with a joy that is without boundaries. A joy that overrides all of the other “joys” of the season. He will be the addition to your tradition that will never leave you feeling empty. He is the gift you will never want to return. In James 1:17 the Bible says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” You have the opportunity to experience first hand that perfect gift and to use that perfect gift as the centerpiece of your own family traditions and memories.
Thank you for indulging me in my little walk down memory lane. I hope you enjoyed hearing about some of my family’s Christmas traditions and I wish you great memories of your family traditions. I also wish you joy in creating new family traditions, traditions that will in turn create memories for your children and grandchildren, all anchored in the comfort and knowledge that those memories and traditions spring from our greatest gift of all, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Merry Christmas!
Doug's Journey 