Feel the Accelerator

Most of you know my love for fast cars. I am not a “gear-head.” I know very little about how cars work. I can add windshield wiper fluid and maybe top off the oil but that is about the extent of my usefulness around a mechanics’ garage. All I really want to know about a car is that when I put my foot down on the accelerator there is going to be a furious burst of power. I want my head to snap back to the headrest. I want to feel a little careless – a little uncertain about my ability to control the power. My ego causes me to believe I can pass anyone else on the road and if pressed I won’t hesitate to put the hammer down and show you who is who.

Looking back on my life I might be able to guess where this “need for speed” comes from; it must be a reflection of the way I have done things since I was very young. In some ways I have lived a conundrum that started in first grade. My parents made the decision that I should skip kindergarten and go straight to first grade, even though I was only 5 years old. I didn’t really understand, until much later in life, the advantage I had because of their decision and in fact thought it was a disadvantage. Please understand, I am not playing the victim card here. I don’t blame my parents for anything, in fact all I have is appreciation for the way they raised me and influenced me. But, because of their decision to accelerate my schooling, I faced some challenges. I was smaller physically than most of my friends which of course impacted my participation in sports. When I reached high school my age caused issues with my peers because I was less mature, physically and mentally. When I started my college career at the ripe old age of 17 I was at a distinct disadvantage because legally I couldn’t go into a 3.2 bar and order a beer. Most of my buddies were 18 and had been legally going to 3.2 bars during their senior year in high school. Plus, do you think an 18 year old college girl wanted to date a 17 year old guy? Not a chance. Then when I graduated college at the age of 21 I was thrown into a job market where I was competing against other college graduates who were 22 or 23 years old. That might not sound like a big deal but for many of the companies I interviewed with it was a deal killer. They figured that because I was “only” 21 there was no way I could contribute to their success the way a 22 or 23 year old candidate would be able to. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “well, we really like you but we just wish you were a little older and more mature.”

So how did I overcome this perceived disadvantage? Everything I did had to be done faster because I needed to accomplish more than my competition in the same amount of time. I convinced myself that would be the way to catch up and pass those in my way. I had my right foot all the way to the floorboard and couldn’t afford to let up. The result? It wasn’t good. I careened through life at breakneck speed, rarely looking back to see what I missed or who I ran over on the way. Most of the time the people I ran over were Terrie and my sons. Heck, the reality was, even though I wanted to believe I was running over the competition, we were all doing the same thing! Going as fast as we could; out of control, little regard for others, not much regard for ourselves, windows up, radio on full blast, right foot to the floor.

So you might be thinking I am going to say I finally figured out I needed to put the brakes on. Sorry, I am going to disappoint you because I never found that to be a real solution. In fact, every time I tried to do that all that happened was I became a bigger jerk to Terrie and my sons than I was when I was going flat out. I moved from self-indulgence to self-pity and blamed my circumstances on them. I had to put the brakes on because of them. I had to reset my agenda aside because of them. I fell behind the competition because of them. Wow, what a bunch of hogwash!

God never intended for us to be pansies. He wants us to be drivers on the pole position. He wants us to be guys who are willing to take the risk to pound on the accelerator but also look to him to know when to lift our foot. And when the back end breaks away and we head for the wall, God wants guys who can admit they hit the accelerator at the wrong time and then lien on him to help them do better the next time.

I don’t think God gave men a nature that allows us to completely decelerate. What we can and do need to do is learn how to feather our pressure on the accelerator pedal. Each of us has a “pace” that fits us because He created each of us to be wonderful and unique. It took me far too long to understand that. I actually had two great examples of what I am talking about, I was just too self-absorbed to realize it until it was almost too late. My father was the first example I should have looked at. Not only did he understand pace in his job, he was a master of pace in his marriage. The priority he placed on my sister and me but most importantly his relationship with my mother was extraordinary. He didn’t sit around thinking about how he would learn the nuances of acceleration and pace. He knew there had to be a balance between his pace on the job and his pace at home. He knew how to feather the throttle. Terrie has always known what her pace is and has trusted the ideal pace God instilled her with. That is one of the factors that has made her such a great mother to our sons, wife to me and friend to so many people. She paces herself and doesn’t get out in front of God. Had I understood my God given pace at a younger age things would have been much easier and certainly more joyful. In Jeremiah 29:11 God lays this all out when he says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God knows exactly where our foot should be on that right pedal. He also knows when to turn on the check engine light; the problem is we usually ignore it. It has taken me a long time to get to a place where I have a pretty good idea when He is telling me to take my foot off the gas and pull over to the side of the road, there are problems ahead. Without all that engine and road noise I have a much better chance of hearing what He is trying to tell me.

One final thought. Finding God’s pace for your life isn’t like Nascar putting a restricter plate on an engine. It isn’t intended to make you like everyone else. Neither will it put you at a disadvantage. In fact it will do just the opposite. It will give you freedom to be who you were created to be. It will give you the courage to pound on the accelerator when the time is right.

OK guys, I hope this all makes sense. I’m going out for a drive now. I just figured out how to turn on the sport exhaust in my car. I can’t wait to hammer the accelerator and hear that sound!