“Children are a heritage from the Lord” Psalm 127:3

Not all of us are privileged to have children. We don’t know why God choses some of us and leaves others wanting the experience.

When I was coming up there was an accepted order of growing up. You graduated high school then either went on to college, you joined the military or you went into the trades – construction, mechanics, equipment operator, culinary school, etc., etc. In your early 20’s thoughts of marriage and building a family came into play. I was 22 when I married Terrie. I was 25 when we our first child was born. I was very immature, frightened of the responsibility I had assumed, totally self-absorbed in my job, didn’t know the Lord and generally, with the exception of every example my father had provided for me, was not prepared to be a father. Fortunately I was married to a woman who was just the opposite, very mature, not frightened of much of anything, willing to give up her career as a teacher, had a deep faith in her creator and was excited at the prospect of being a mother. She understood that the life growing inside her was a gift from God. She accepted the responsibility awarded to her, the responsibility to care for and nurture a living human being that had been entrusted to her.

Getting married and building a family seem much different today and I am sorry to see so many parents who don’t seem to understand what having kids is all about. I attribute much of the problem to what I believe is a change in attitude about marriage. Marriage for so many today is like leasing a property. Start out with a short term then when it comes time for renewal if you don’t like the terms, move out and find a new, in this case, relationship. There is a lack of endurance, an avoidance of commitment and children become pawns in a game where no one wins. Both my sons were in their 30s when they made the lifelong commitment to marriage. They each were patient, waiting for God to present the exact right person to share the rest of their life with. Their patience and faith paid off in spades with spouses who are extraordinary people; smart, loving, faithful, fun, creative and committed to the marriage. They are women who understand the Biblical definition of marriage and the rights and responsibilities that go along with it. And they are women who will be amazing mothers to their children. None of them ever considered their decision to marry a short term trial. They made the commitment for life.

Brandon, our oldest, is experiencing the indescribable joys and trials of being a father. I can tell he is a great dad by the way his daughters adore him. I knew Brandon was going to be a wonderful father because I had observed him with his friends children. He was a natural and all the kids loved him. Watching him today causes me to reflect back on my days as a young father and makes me wonder if my boys adored me or feared me. I always tried to hold them accountable for bad behavior and reward them for good behavior and yes, there were times I wanted them to be scared. Above all, Terrie and I always made sure they knew they were loved, by us and by God. All that said, Brandon understands the fragility of his daughters. He understands that he has been given the privilege of raising them and that they are amazing human lives who need him every minute of every day. His parenting exemplifies his realization of what God has entrusted him with.

Now I have the honor and privilege of watching Tyler, our youngest, become a father for the first time. Tyler is 38 – 13 years older than I was when Brandon was born. Like his brother he has grown into a fine man of faith. He is confident, he is strong both mentally and physically, he has an extraordinary wife who supports him in every way and he is so excited about becoming a father. I have absolutely no doubt that he too will be an amazing, loving father. He will revel in the joys of being a father. He will cherish his children, nurture them with his love, his knowledge, his experience and his desires for their lives. He and Chelsea will build their family on a solid, unshakeable foundation of Biblical truth, with the acknowledgement that children are indeed, “a heritage from the Lord.” Being Tyler’s Dad, I have so much to be thankful for.

Much of the way I will measure my life will be dependent on the way my sons handle fatherhood and through observing the way they cradle their infant babies in their arms, hug them intently as they grow from adolescence to adulthood, comfort and support them when needed, encourage them and free them to be who they were created to be. I know that sounds completely one-sided. Parenting is certainly best done in twos, a husband and a wife and without Terrie I would have been completely lost.

I dedicate this blog entry to Brandon and Tyler, sons, husbands, and fathers who I love, admire and respect. For those of you who are blessed to have children, enjoy every moment, from start to finish. Don’t be one of those people who say, “before I knew what happened they were grown and gone. If you do it right, they are never gone. They will always be your children, your prodigy, your legacy. That precious newborn that God put in your hands might be a fully grown adult but they are still your child. May all fathers and mothers live with the knowledge that “Children are a heritage from the Lord