Lessons From Aging

I am finding out that no matter how old you are, there is always room to discover new things about yourself. I am now 71. People ask me how I feel. Truthfully – I feel great and have no idea what being 71 is supposed to feel like. I’ve never been 71 before! I have friends who are younger than me and all they do is complain about their aches and pains and how it takes so much longer to heal from any sort of injury. I also have friends who are older than me and never complain about a thing even though some of them appear to have legitimate problems they could be whining about. I have a group of guys I hang out with when I am in Scottsdale. We get together once per month for dinner and as we have aged we have found it necessary to impose a strict time limit on any medical discussions! I have also discovered there are many, many positives that come along with getting older.

It’s interesting how we mark life events in terms of age. When we turn 18 we gain the right to vote. When I was growing up the voting age was 21 but during the Vietnam War there was a groundswell of support for lowering the voting age to 18. The thinking was, if men and women were old enough and mature enough to go to war for our country we were certainly mature enough to vote for the leaders of our country. 21 is also the age when drinking alcohol and gambling become legal. The next big step is reaching the ripe old age of 30. For many people simply changing the first numeral in their age from a 2 to a 3 is devastating. Women start looking for wrinkles. Men start checking to see if their hair is thinning. Then you hit the 40s and stuff really starts changing. For guys it seems like some of the hair that used to be on your head has now migrated to your ears. For women there is the threat of a few gray strands infiltrating previously pristine flowing locks. Men and women alike start looking for miracle cures for their aging physiques. Botox. Fillers. Miracle creams and potions. If you get to the half century mark, an entire new set of considerations come to light. Men start getting their PSA checked because the eventuality of prostate cancer becomes a reality. In my case I got that diagnosis shortly after turning 60. Women face the reality of menopause. If we have children it is sometime around our 50s when we become empty nesters. Most of us will also begin contemplating retirement and what that will look like. Reaching 60 is crossing a major threshold. Society tells us we just moved beyond a mid-life crisis into senior citizenship. We make attempts to downplay the “senior” existence by coming up with sayings like, “the 60s are the new 40s.” When I was 57 I won the “Senior Club Championship” at my golf club. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy about playing well or alarmed that I qualified under the club’s definition of “senior.” Your 60s are when you start getting “senior” discounts at various businesses. A free cup of coffee with your Egg McMuffin at McDonalds. Reduced ticket prices at the movies. At 65 reality sets in when you register for Medicare. You also start thinking about when you will start taking that social security you have been paying into all your working life. Physical exams become more stressful as you anxiously await results to tell you what has diminished since last year.

Having reached my 70s the changes and challenges but also the positive parts of getting older seem to be accelerating. I remember watching my father and how people interacted with him as he went through his 60s and 70s in particular. I noticed how other younger men referred to him as “sir.” I thought that was really cool because it was a sign of respect and an acknowledgment of his experience. When guys started calling me “sir,” I would react by telling them it wasn’t necessary and they should call me by my first name. Then I came to realize it was a sign of respect and should be a badge I wear proudly. My Bible study group has recently begun a study about the book of Hebrews. If you have not read it, Hebrews in a nut shell is a letter from an unknown writer directed at Jewish Christians who are falling away from their faith. Much of their inclination to return to Judaism is driven by fear of persecution for being followers of Christ. We too are encumbered throughout life with fear of persecution for our beliefs. There are always exceptions but most of us succumb to that fear and it impacts our daily existence as we refuse to put Christ out in front of us and allow Satan to render us silent. We crater under the fear that giving our lives to Jesus and displaying that to others will be a threat to our circle of friends, our career, maybe even impacting our children’s lives.

By now you are probably wondering where I am going with this and what are those lessons I have learned from aging? The older I get, the less I worry about what other people think creating a new found freedom to wear my faith on my sleeve. That is lesson 1. Lesson 2, along with the awakening is also sadness from the realization of all the opportunities to share the Gospel I have squandered because I cared more about what other people thought about me than what Jesus means to me. Instead of dwelling on the failure in a depressing sort of way, use what I have learned to be stronger and proactive in deflecting the lies Satan would have me believe about what others might think of me. The older I get, the less I care about how others might view the way I proclaim or represent my faith. I want to use my “senior” designation and hopefully the respect that goes along with it to share my faith, to display my faith and to encourage others to stop being closet Christians.

I have to admit, today, when younger men refer to me as “sir” I take some pride in that. When I walk into the mens grill at the golf club I don’t care if people look at me as a
“Past Senior Club Champion” because I would much rather have them know me as one of those guys who is part of the Wednesday morning Bible study group. Finally, the next time you hear someone say getting old isn’t for the faint of heart, try to keep in mind the lessons I have learned and embrace the positives. Just don’t wait, like I did, to apply them at every age marker in your life.